Week 73 & 74
Discoveries from writing my MIT Media Lab application, thoughts from Goa & Visakhapatnam and a tiny note to begin the upcoming week.
10 days ago, I finally turned in my MIT Media Lab application. This in itself was a big feat for me, considering how consumed I was by the process for over a year. I’m curious to see the results.
Writing, in particular, was a grossly underestimated and poorly planned task. I am happy that I decided to throw myself into it, as grappling with it brought forward certain truths about myself and why I’ve become the person that I am; which becomes an important theme in this week’s post.
Apart from that, I will also use this space to reflect on two trips that I took afterwards, one for teaching at IIM Vizag and one to Goa with Sakina to unwind.
[MIT Writing Reflection] Discoveries about myself
While writing the essay in particular, I was resoundingly reminded of my curiosity & willingness to experiment. Even as a school-going child, I was experimenting with different methods of learning, living and training. Most of my life today, even my profession and creative practice, involves searching and trying. This makes it evident that being a researcher is stiffly tied with my identity.
Another important revelation to me was tracing back the events of my life and understanding two major incidents that have heavily influenced the course of my path today – one being the separation of my parents and the other involving a handful of words & a broken dream. While I could recognise the effects of my parents’ separation, tracing back the cause of why I desire public recognition, aspire to be the best at something and why I chase these slim dreams was a newfound revelation. It’s amusing that a tiny incident at 14 years of age fuelled enough fire for 9 years of relentless pursuit. I’m reminded of someone’s words – “trauma comes in all shapes & sizes”. It seems like the baton is now on me to try and move past this incident, to look beyond the literal hunt.
Finally, after ~30 drafts of writing (and mostly rewriting), my inexperience become crystal clear to me. I have a long way to go, to become more articulate, fluid and possess the ability to diverge & converge better, across multiple scales.
I’m still quite weak and young as a researcher and that’s okay, I’ll become better with time.
[Inspiration & Thoughts] Goa & Visakhapatnam
Arranged images and thoughts on an A3 sheet.
[Way Forward] What next?
My goal this next week is to simply strike a balance between things. As I wrote in my microblog:
Little things everyday – I'm trying to embody this aphorism now.